Our Hearts

I have no idea where my heart is at times. Today I was shown where it could be.

Today during clinicals there were two couples that stayed at the nursing home together. Both of the couples had been married for over 70 years. They slept in the same bed, they went to eat together, and they combed each others hair. Out of both couples there was usually a spouse that was more able then the other. One gentlemen was able to give himself a shower. I had to help him get his clothes off, but he could do the rest himself. He told me before I started that modesty was very important to him. Even though I was there to help, if I were to view him "naked", he would feel as if he was cheating on the love of his life. He then went on to tell me how he met his wife. I wanted to bawl. He loves her with all his heart. Where she is, his heart is. They will be celebrating 76 years of marriage this year, and he said she is still the most beautiful woman in his eyes.

The other couple, will be celebrating 74. The gentleman suffers from Parkinson's disease, and the lady is in poor health from taking care of her husband for so many years. The worker had to keep reminding her that we were here to take care of him now, but she didn't care, she loved him unconditionally. It was her job to take care of him, not ours. When we brought him back from breakfast he had crumbs on his shirt. Before he sat down in the chair his wife dusted them off, and gave him a motherly look. He just looked at her in understanding, an unspoken understanding. He knew where her heart was, it was with him.

It's too bad that this idea of unconditional love is so hard to grasp. I know I haven't experienced it yet, except for the unconditional love that Christ has given me. He showed me this week that faith, no matter how small, is still faith. That He would take care of me. I don't know where I'm going, or where God will take me. I know I'm on the right path though.

Everyday there is a new change.
Excitement, sorrow, sadness, guilt.
Commitment?
How can the levels of a heart change so much, and so drastically in a matter of days and hours?
It is hard to give up your heart, and wonder if another will ever be given up totally to you in return.
Where am I placed? Hard question.
Will I experience over 70 years of total, unconditional, full abandon love? Ever?
Will I be a part of a faithful loving family for over 70 years?
Will I brush my 92 year old husbands hair in the morning, because he can't? And still hold his hand through the entire night, no matter how scary the feeling of not waking up in the morning is?
Commitment? Why are you so hard for people?

Fall 2009

A few fall photos.

Roomates and I carved pumpkins.


Tyson's 6 months already.


Yes, I peirced it.

New Blog

A new blog, for a new journey.
Although I am still interested in health, and healthy things, I have just been writing more about other things. So, here is to a new blog.